Preparing for Lyla

While I am so thrilled to be adding a member to our family, I keep hearing it's normal to be having feelings like... uh, why are we doing this? Our lives are *so* good right now! We have the most amazing child. He's potty trained, he sleeps pretty well, he can do a few things on his own, we have a little extra money... etc. 

And the biggest question I'm dealing with: how do I make room in my heart for two babies, when Cooper already has it all... ? He (and his Dad, of course) has my whole heart.  

Hello, mom guilt. (The struggle is real.)

I've been thinking a lot (a lot, a lot) about this lately and I suppose the answer is I won't "make room" for Lyla. I know what you're thinking. "What? This chick is crazy. Good luck, Mom," but hear me out. I don't just want to "make room" for her. When I picture "making room," I see an already full room and trying to cram something in there, even if it doesn't fit. Ouch, right? It kind of implies that I would have to take room away from Cooper for her, right? I'd never. He still gets his own special place in my heart, and I will never, ever love him less. It also kind of implies that I am just going to try and find a little space for her and hope it works out. Our baby girl deserves more than that.

When she is born, my heart will just... grow. Like beautiful magic. She will have her own space, just as Cooper has his (and Eric has his, for that matter).

Lyla, your Dad and I are so over the moon thrilled to meet you - and it's so much fun to see your brother's excitement, too. Truly, he can't wait. He asked for a baby sister before we even found out you were coming, and when he feels you kick or kisses my belly and whispers a message just for you, my heart melts. I know you'll be so well taken care of, not only by your Dad and me, but your big brother too! We'll make special time for both of you, together and alone, and will always make sure you know how loved and precious you are.

We'll see you soon, little Lyla. I can't wait to be a family of four.


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