32 Weeks & A Note
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| Hello fatty. |
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| Had to get a better pic of the board this week. |
TOTAL WEIGHT GAIN?: 19
pounds as of my check up last week (which I think was generous, only a 1 lb gain), so really at this point, I would guesstimate about 22 pounds. So excited
to take these lbs off. Soon enough, but
not before growing tremendously…so I hear.
SLEEP?:
Sucks. I wake up at least 3 or 4 times to pee, and
sometimes I wake up screaming in pain because of lovely charlie horses. I get charlie horses rather often; they run
in the fam, but these are no ordinary horsies.
These are a-holes. My entire leg
shakes because of the pain, so my poor husband has to hold it down, flex my foot for me because it
gets so tired, and massage it at the same time because I cannot stand. Misery.
I can’t eat bananas - which has been everyone's recommendation, but I am working on more calcium and
potassium. Lawwwd have mercy.
BEST MOMENT THIS WEEK?: Having a wonderful check up at the doctor - Coop is doing great! Spending
time with my husband, and having him comfort me. Also, I had a lovely lunch with a friend this
week who is just such an amazing woman.
Talking with her is really incredible, and even though we’re both wrecks
right now for various reasons, she is a pillar of strength and love – and I
cannot thank her enough for her friendship.
WORST MOMENT THIS WEEK?: See
"story time" below.
MISS ANYTHING?: Wine & champagne. Sushi.
Working out. Feeling like
myself. Having “fun.” Yes, my name is currently Debbie Downer. Pleased-ish to meet you.
MOVEMENT?: He’s moving so much! This is also a great moment for the week. He’s going to be an active lil (oh please
lil?!?) one! I can’t wait!
FOOD CRAVINGS?: Can’t curb this sweet tooth (Oreo's and chocolate), but
I have been eating more veggies and salads, which is nice.
I also had a weird and sudden craving for pizza on Sunday night. Maybe my body knows that 2 months from now it
won’t get to indulge like this, so it’s like…hmm...what else can we get away with and cram in? J
ANYTHING MAKING ME QUEASY / SICK?: Life. Decisions.
Myself.
LABOR SIGNS?:
Maybe a few Braxton Hicks,
but nothing major. Sunday was
interesting, and I had cramping on my lower right side and a tight tummy – but it wasn’t anything
serious. Thank goodness. We want Coop as healthy as possible. Stay in there for at least 5 more weeks baby boy! Gotta get at least to "full term." (Full term = 37 weeks. Regular pregnancy = 40 weeks.)
SYMPTOMS / MOODS?: Back
pain, swollen feet, waddling, exhaustion, heartburn city, hormonal breakdowns. All that fun stuff. Bless my husband for putting up with me. Though, I am starting to feel better, emotionally - but the last week was rough - so I am bloggin' about it.
BELLY BUTTON IN or OUT?: In-ish, still.
WEDDING RINGS OFF or ON?: On.
LOOKING FORWARD TO...?: Meeting
my son and falling even more in love with him.
Feeling like myself again, or feeling like a better version of myself
once I’m a Mama. Finishing our registry
completion so we can get organized for our little bundle of joy. Finally taking my life in my hands and doing
what I want to do…see below.
For those
that know me, it won’t surprise you that this past week+ has been enormously
challenging for me. Emotionally, I am
tapped out y’all. I had a breakdown just
over a week ago completely out of the blue.
People
have asked if it was because I had just gotten home from seeing family – and while
our trip was incredible and I do miss everyone – that isn’t why. Good thought though, that's usually the case. ;)
People have also told me to relax, and it’s probably just hormone
related. I know that hormones are
playing a role (and that is why I cry at just about everything), but it’s more
than that too.
I won't go into super specific details, at least for now, because they're personal, and honestly - I am still trying to navigate them and feel better. I will, however, talk a little about them because this is my blog, my way to remember what's going on, maybe get some other input, and hopefully maybe this will help some of you...?
Because some folks were worried, I will say that I am fine and so is our baby boy - praise God! I am working through my saddness and anxiety with the help of my amazing husband, my wonderful family and some incredible friends - who are all offering an ear, advice, a shoulder to cry on, etc. Life is just hard sometimes, and we're currently not seeing eye to eye on some things, life and me. But I am working on it - sorting out what I want and what is best for my family - and will hopefully find peace, fulfillment, excitement and joy very soon! Yes, it is mostly career and location related. It's also about finding a peace within myself and trying to learn to love myself. Right now I just feel asleep, and I am just waiting for life to excite and fulfill me again so I can wake up, live and enjoy!
I think it's enormously important to mention that I know how blessed I am - which is making me feel totally selfish and ungrateful for having these feelings. But, with the help of friends, I've decided that I am allowed to feel happy and excited about my blessings, while also awknowledging that I am a little sad. I can be both. I am SO blessed, I know this. Truly. I just happen to be blessed, and a little lost.
Thank you for your support and love.
XOXO
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